Today in the light of me bitching about religious phrases I hate, I randomly thought of another: 'God bless you', meaning I need somebody else's blessing. This thought makes me want to drown kittens in my bathtub. (Mind you, I'm experiencing a little anger management issues today. I'll explain why below.)
I'm super stressed because I didn't write an essay worth 35% of my total mark(do only British people use this word instead of 'grade'? regardless, I use it as well) in a class and as a result I had to send my Prof a 'pity me, I need to ask a favour, I haven't showered in 4 days, that's how stressed I am' email.
I signed it with, "Sincerely, International Student About to Be Deported" hoping to extract some sort of pity. Lets hope it works?
I was also thinking about how the fact that Stephenie Meyer fantasized her 'perfect guy' Edward as a guy who won't have sex with Bella for the entirety of 3 books (I didn't read the last one, snort, I have better things to be concerned with, like getting a BA degree that won't do me any good in life, mind you). And this led me to assume that, since Stephenie's dream guy is a guy who doesn't want to have sex, poor Stephenie's husband can't possibly be getting any.
This just shows, thou shall not marry crazy Mormons who can't write.
Another phrase I dislike is, "Save it for a rainy day", associating 'rain' with sadness or stress. I don't know about you but rain makes me so happy! This is probably because I'm not a very 'sun' person. (and no, I don't mean I have vampiric tendencies, even though I was into vampires in literature WAY before any of this shit came out, ever heard of Anne Rice, you cunts). I just don't like being in the sun in the same way I don't like being cuddled or spooned when I'm sleeping. Just leave me be when I'm sleeping you dickwad!
In other news, I was on the subway the other day, quite tipsy I may add, and I kept glaring at the cute guy sitting opposite of me. He kept glaring back. This went on for a while as with each stop I kept thinking: "He's gonna get off at this stop and that'll be the end of it. I wonder if he can hear the songs I'm listening to on my ipod right now? He keeps breathing in an out to the rhytm of the songs. Hmm."
If you wanna hear how this mind-numbingly capturing story went, he finally got off at his stop and gave me a final smirk and a look before disappearing. sniff. It was good while it lasted, breathing-t0-the-rhytm-of-my-songs-subway-boy.
I am a little bit of Kat Dennings, little bit of Ricky Gervais, a whole lot of Sylvia Plath, a dash of Sheldon Cooper, and a bit of Tina Fey. Just making a pointless pie chart of my personality, in case you needed the recipe.
Now I have to go take out the trash as my roommates signed Petition for Maya to Remove her Pile of Pizza Boxes from the Floor (3 signatures, I didn't sign alas I need to obey), and this calls for me to get my lazy ass all the way to the Recycling Bins. Yes, we recycle here in Canada, ain't it grand? I want to justify my messiness with, 'Nobody in Turkey cares about recycling' but nobody over here cares about my home country either.
Signed,
International Student About to be Deported (except not, that was a lie I told my Prof to get an extension on my essay.)
This is where I rant, report, and exist. Who needs a social life?
you need to get laid.
ReplyDeletehahaha! it's finals week, give me a break. I actually don't think any undergraduate student has time to get laid this month. but thanks for the suggestion, anon.
ReplyDeletehey, at least me and Stephenie Meyer's husband have that in common, huh?
ReplyDeleteI love the rain too. You should listen to this artist called Burial tracks like archangel and street halo....also moth. take care.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous weirdo creepy stalker stranger xd
I'll check those out! Thanks.
ReplyDeleteCreepers welcome! ;)